You May Be Better Than You Think

Posted on November 30, 2007
Filed Under Writing, Blogging |

I’m not the most self-confident person ever. I’m very strict at myself and I’m rarely happy with the things I do, no matter what they are: blogs, websites, posts… I have the permanent feeling that “there’s something missing here and that wouldn’t happen if I wasn’t so incompetent.”

Many people are concerned about the possibility of being bashed by others on the Internet. Some good blog posts have been written on this subject. They generally tell you that you must grow a thick skin if you want to survive to attacks, and that you shouldn’t engage into tit-for-tats. Both excellent pieces of advice, if you ask me.

But why don’t anyone teach us how to react to appraisals?

“Because it doesn’t need to be taught,” you might say. And I’d take your point: apparently, it’s very easy indeed. All you have to do is say “thank you!” and enjoy the compliments you’ve received.

However, it may not be that simple. How can you tell whether those compliments are well-deserved or not? What if people are just trying to be nice to you? What if you aren’t as good as they said? And what if you end up disappointing everyone?

Now I ask you (and myself): what if we do deserve to be praised?

When I got the first compliment on my blogging style I just couldn’t believe it, although it made me happy. As time went by, more compliments followed. They were all spontaneous and came from bloggers, writers and Internet marketers who weren’t my relatives nor my friends (not at the time they first contacted me, at least). Eventually I had to admit I wasn’t as incompetent as I used to believe. In reality, it seemed I was better than I thought.

It doesn’t mean that now I believe I am perfect. I’m ever open to (constructive) criticism and I really need all advice I can get. I’m still not happy with my own stuff. But I can rest assured that I’m not doomed to ostracism. Thanks to the positive feedback I’ve been getting, I have more reasons to keep on blogging.

Karen Zara

Technorati Tags: Blogging, Writing

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Comments

5 Responses to “You May Be Better Than You Think”

Monika (80 comments.) on December 1st, 2007 5:30 am

Karen,

I know exactly how you feel as I was there before too. I still get occasional days when I doubt myself but luckily they are hardly there now.

It wasn’t always like this and I think the real turn around came when I read a book that said to accept all thanks and praises for what they are. Naturally we would question of whether they are truly meant or not, just like you stated.

But since I’m honest and always mean what I say when I praise others, I now believe others are honest when they praise me. Now I’m happy and enjoy the flattery and you know what?

It helps to fuel my life with tons of positive experiences.

It is called “the law of attraction”. And it really works!

You are doing great and what your readers love about you is the fact that your great and quirky personality shows through.
Carla Chadwick (6 comments.) on December 1st, 2007 9:52 am

Karen,

I’ll bet just about every writer and artist knows how you feel. I give you huge credit, both for pushing through your fear and doing it so stylishly. Your posts are a pleasure to read.
Karen Zara (4 comments.) on December 1st, 2007 12:03 pm

@Monika and Carla: Can you girls please stop making me embarrassed? *blushes*
bloggingzoom.com on December 4th, 2007 3:14 pm

You May Be Better Than You Think…

Many people are concerned about the possibility of being bashed by others on the Internet. Some good blog posts have been written on this subject. They generally tell you that you must grow a thick skin if you want to survive to attacks, and that you s…
Tim E. (2 comments.) on December 6th, 2007 12:33 am

I have nothing to gain from saying that you seem completely competent, as well as couth and comprehensible.